210
8 days ago
Bracketology: Where Are the Shooty Dores Likely Seeded?
Summary
Fanduel’s sponsoring this one, ladies, but this post is only tangentially gambling-related.
With a Bacon and Donut Sadness-esque regular season finale victory over THEM on that court to the East…
…and the Jorts handling business in Wedding Jerseytown, the Shooty Dores are getting some well-earned rest in the form of the SEC Tourney double bye. Being the #4 seed is fun, but bumping The Chuggers to #5 on their home court and then gleefully watching as The Jorts forced the Wedding Jerseys to play on Wednesday as the #9 seed was just… chef’s kiss.
So yeah, seeing as we don’t play until Friday (against The Chuggers, War Tigers, or Clanga), and Fanduel is paying me to do this now, we might as well drink our laxative prep and take a trip to the Bracketologist a week before Selection Sunday. Proper fan colon health is important, and, to be honest, we’re approaching that age.
As of March 7th, Lil’ Joey Lunards (being from NJ, I am 100% confident this is what people from the neighborhood call him) has The Shooty Dores as the #5 Seed in Sunny San Diego, versus That Resort School in NC in the “Pampered Student-Off” for the ages. Then, the winner plays a car-sized tumbleweed or a Californian in a Lake… and… this is just a shitty bracket for sports stories. Not sure whether I want to boo or yawn.
Also, we’re the #4 seed in the SEC Tournament. Just make is the #4 seed in the NCAA Tourney, as well. For symmetry.
In all seriousness, we’re a lock for the tourney, with the main question from here on out being, “Will we be a #4 or #5 seed… and who will we face in round one?” Our performance in the SEC Tourney will likely not move the needle, unless we win the whole damned thing… and even then, I would imagine the shadowy figures on the Selection Committee would have already put all but the bid-stealers in their spots, as they are equal parts shadowy and lazy. Further, the main reason to want the #4 seed is to avoid the dreaded #5 vs. #12 matchup that is so often a coin-flip.
…ahh, that’s the stuff. Not only does CBS correctly place us in the #4 seed, but gives us a good shitty villain to focus our hatred on during the run-up to round one, and an even better villain to hate in round two (unless Louisville hilariously loses). Oh, and their bracketology was updated this morning. They’re putting in the work to make me call my HMO and make them my primary Hoops Doctor.
Who has the better projections, Commentariat?
With a Bacon and Donut Sadness-esque regular season finale victory over THEM on that court to the East…
…and the Jorts handling business in Wedding Jerseytown, the Shooty Dores are getting some well-earned rest in the form of the SEC Tourney double bye. Being the #4 seed is fun, but bumping The Chuggers to #5 on their home court and then gleefully watching as The Jorts forced the Wedding Jerseys to play on Wednesday as the #9 seed was just… chef’s kiss.
So yeah, seeing as we don’t play until Friday (against The Chuggers, War Tigers, or Clanga), and Fanduel is paying me to do this now, we might as well drink our laxative prep and take a trip to the Bracketologist a week before Selection Sunday. Proper fan colon health is important, and, to be honest, we’re approaching that age.
As of March 7th, Lil’ Joey Lunards (being from NJ, I am 100% confident this is what people from the neighborhood call him) has The Shooty Dores as the #5 Seed in Sunny San Diego, versus That Resort School in NC in the “Pampered Student-Off” for the ages. Then, the winner plays a car-sized tumbleweed or a Californian in a Lake… and… this is just a shitty bracket for sports stories. Not sure whether I want to boo or yawn.
Also, we’re the #4 seed in the SEC Tournament. Just make is the #4 seed in the NCAA Tourney, as well. For symmetry.
In all seriousness, we’re a lock for the tourney, with the main question from here on out being, “Will we be a #4 or #5 seed… and who will we face in round one?” Our performance in the SEC Tourney will likely not move the needle, unless we win the whole damned thing… and even then, I would imagine the shadowy figures on the Selection Committee would have already put all but the bid-stealers in their spots, as they are equal parts shadowy and lazy. Further, the main reason to want the #4 seed is to avoid the dreaded #5 vs. #12 matchup that is so often a coin-flip.
…ahh, that’s the stuff. Not only does CBS correctly place us in the #4 seed, but gives us a good shitty villain to focus our hatred on during the run-up to round one, and an even better villain to hate in round two (unless Louisville hilariously loses). Oh, and their bracketology was updated this morning. They’re putting in the work to make me call my HMO and make them my primary Hoops Doctor.
Who has the better projections, Commentariat?
AI Description
The article discusses the seeding prospects of the Shooty Dores in the SEC Tournament, highlighting their recent victories and the resulting double bye. It touches on the dynamics of team rankings and tournament seeding.